This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
