But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
