maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
