Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
