The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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