Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
