Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
