worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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