she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
