I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
