Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
