so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
