Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
