I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
false alarm, still single
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