no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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