well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
