Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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