is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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