At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
