just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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