READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
