Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
