Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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