would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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