she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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