There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
