Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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