yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
