ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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