Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
