Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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