singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
