what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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