she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
