I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
