The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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