But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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