I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
