She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
