my mouth tastes like poor choices
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
