i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
