Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
