rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
