Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
