There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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