So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
