Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Bring me that man meat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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