found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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