how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
