and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
