Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
