He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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